Hi, it’s been a while since the last posting, I spend my time mostly to focus on my thesis, well, it is quit tiring to find and analyze a novel simply not just because it is too difficult or too complicated, everything is actually easy, just simply because of laziness, the biggest challenge for me right now. I am now far from hoping a great thesis or a great theme for my study, the only thing I concern about now is just pass, with not-so-low score. so I can used my paper to increase my carer. to make a thesis we I need to calm myself down, not just because the tiredness and laziness, I have to pull my self down and take a deep breath every time “KAPAN LULUS” Question come up. sometime it’s motivates me, but mostly it was annoyed me. but yeah,,, one of my friend said, just enjoy the process, you’ll miss this kind of things someday in the future. and further,you’ll be proud of yourself. since I realized that I started the college stuff a bit too late and sometimes age-drama haunted me, but what can I do about it? my Mom said, I supposed to have a house and car right now, become a wealth men and having a 3-year-old kids. Honestly I am a bit sad to hear that, That’s what exactly the life that I hoped before in this age,and when I see myself in the mirror,I am like nothing but a walking flesh. when I am in my desperate time, I can do daily activities well, everything is messed up, hard to find a mood boosters to get back my mood. but, I have to be grateful, for all the easiness in my life, I tried not to compared my life to any body, I am pretty sure everybody has their own problem, we can only see from the outside, who knows that my life is a wanted-life for somebody else?  I tried to enjoy every breath that I take,every healthiness,  every moves.it simple but counts.

what is your random stories?



I played a game

never stop.

in the dark

with you.



I just sit here for nothing, finished my second latte and continuing my daydream with my eyes wide open looking straight. I was bored to the death, Wednesday afternoon always a sacred time for me, when I have nothing to do in my office because Wednesday is a day that I have to wait for my document arrive from overseas and then in Thursday I get consumed by work and pass the day as soon as possible. so I named Wednesday as waiting day. my friends and I use to spend our afternoon in coffee shop near office building. but today both of my partner are taking their annual leave to attend their friend’s wedding.

Then I remember Jessica, a Girl I loved, but it was, since I know she already has husband and tricked me almost over 4 months, she gave me my most beautiful life at least for a couple months. I woke up and passionately dressed up only to impress my lovely Jessica. I treat my self better so I can see no pimples in my face and make sure to change my perfume every weeks, only to make sure she does not get boring of my scent. Phone is my best friend which can connect me to my Jessica when I cannot reach her or touch her. thank God for video call technology. I still able to see her pretty face even tough there is a distance fucked my willing to see her.

every weekend we went to cinema and choose backseat and the darkest corner. only to make my hand convenient when I touch her skin without anyone noticed. When the cinema was over. we used to go to her apartment and finished what we had started in cinema. I like to kiss her long first and she seems does not complain at all, I like when she talks while we were in sex and her voices made me turn up even more. after make-out. we used to enjoy soft drinks together but still naked, and she let me explore her soft skin with my passionate lips. o my God I missed her so much as I hate her that she tricked me so bad. I almost bought a diamond ring and set it up to her finger. I almost believe that she is my only one.but I was wrong. well, she has a husband work overseas,I know it from her email that accidentally she left open when I was in her apartment. I was so doomed, I also cannot angry that time, I just chilled and confuse. I felt so dumb.

a months passed, I missed her but not too much as the first day I left her, now I know I just miss to making love with her, kiss her and see her naked. nothing more. as fast as I know that she does not my only one. she is just a slut…

Then,a minute later,a couple passing through me, two person bumped my coffee table, A handsome guy and a beautiful girl, accidentally shed my coffee. the men suddenly said sorry and the girl took tissue from her handbag, actually a lot of tissue, I think it’s to much to clean this tiny table. the girl repeat say sorry to me, I just smile and said that I am okay, they leave me behind  laughing and sharing silly sound.

for the first glance I see the girl, with her curly hair and blue mini dress. with pink lipstick and heels like skyscrapers. those legs are the tallest legs I ever see in my entire life. they were right through me handling each other hands. and about five steps forward they left me behind,the girl turned her face right to my eyes and wink her right eye to me. I realize the tissue she gave me there are several numbers form a phone number. before she continue her walks to her man she suddenly smile to me and then gone. wait…! I know that smile. Jessica gave me exactly the same smile before she took me to her bed.

Processed with VSCO with b5 preset


I Can’t deny red is a wonderful color, it always related to braveness and strong things. I think I can’t just vanishing the red color when I seeing a fresh tomato in a garden and filtering it into black and white, I know that color shimmering and say “Show me” and theN, that was how this picture below was made. red tomato in a black and white frame.


In this picture I used






Processed with VSCO with b1 presetHave you ever visit MUSEUM MACAN ? (Museum Art and Contemporary Nusantara).  You can go here and lost to the artworks from around the world.
But you must quite selective on choosing the visiting day. let yourself avoid crowd and enjoy this place as convenient as you can by following their web to know recent schedule.



This pictures taken with HISENSE CAMERA 16MP